Red cheeks all round!

by Chrissie

My friend Chrissie tells us about a birthday celebration that didn't go quite according to plan!

Celebrities are often asked when they are interviewed what their most embarrassing moment was. Mine happened on my 23rd birthday. As it was not long after our first wedding anniversary, my husband, Dan, and I decided to go away for a romantic weekend. We booked a small hotel in a remote place that had woodland walks nearby.

In the afternoon of my birthday the weather was great so we decided to go for a romantic walk in the woods together. I knew that a birthday spanking - 23 smacks plus 'one to grow on' - from my husband was on the agenda so I wrote the words ‘SPANK ME’ on the back of a pair of white panties which I wore under my short skirt.

We had walked about half an hour when we came to a small clearing. No-one was around (we thought!) so Dan said to me, “Time for your birthday spanking, Chrissie!” He sat down on a tree stump and pulled me across his knee. I pretended to resist but it was a feeble effort! He then pulled back my short skirt and noted the instructions I had written. He laughed and said, “Right, you little minx! I’m sure going to do as I’m told this time!”

He started spanking me – not that hard but it did sting a bit – while I squealed and wriggled. He counted out the number of smacks and had just reached 23 when he stopped and pulled me up.

I was wondering where the final ‘one to grow on’ had gone when I saw the reason for Dan’s sudden abstinence – a middle aged man had come from nowhere and was walking across the clearing near where we were. He must have been on an afternoon ramble and had been day-dreaming when he suddenly came upon us. He was obviously as embarrassed as we were, but when he saw we were only playing he smiled pleasantly before hurrying on his way.

At that moment our faces were as red as my bottom probably was. We looked at each other and then fell about laughing, wondering what the dear man could possibly have thought of us. We had thought about a romantic time in the woods, but decided that discretion was the better part of valour and went our hotel where we had a couple of sizzling sessions before morning came.

That morning we decided to go to church, as our custom was, and found a small country church not too far from the hotel. That’s where the real embarrassment started, as when the pastor came in to take the service we recognized him from the day before! He obviously recognized us, and I wondered whether we might get publicly rebuked for our behaviour in the woods, but he just smiled and nodded at us. I think at that moment that our faces were even redder than in the woods the previous day!

I didn’t hear too much of the service – I was too busy thinking how we could slip out without meeting the pastor. However, at the end of the service he stood at the door to greet people and we saw there was no escape.

Dan decided to face the music by apologizing to him for any embarrassment we had caused him the day before, but he laughed and told us that the Bible says that even the patriarch, Isaac, was caught sporting with his wife, so we young people ought to be allowed to do the same. He told us he walked in that part of the woods as it gave him a chance to think about ideas for his sermons. I don’t know whether he got any inspiration on that occasion!

Much relieved we had lunch and made ready to leave the hotel. As I was changing my clothes, I was bending over the bed to get something when Dan slapped my behind hard. I squealed and jumped up, clutching my behind, and said, “What was that for?” He said: “That was the one to grow on! Sorry I forgot when we were interrupted!” He then kissed me and we fell on the bed together. We were a little late before we finally checked out of our room!